Baby Names

My projected most popular baby name of 2009: Astird.

Nick Raps - Alex Mack

Not every 90s Nickelodeon theme song can't have a sweet rapped theme song by Coolio, but every show wish it had. What about "The Secret World of Alex Mack?" That should could have been ten times more badass if it had a rapped theme song. Luckily, I found one:

Puddle of Goo: By Nick Cannon (feat. Linda Ellerbee)

Puddle of Goo (goo goo goo goo goo)
Puddle of Goo (goo goo goo goo)

Alex was walking home one day,
When she suddenly a barrel went astray ,
It was a secret sample, it hurt a ton,
Now Alex is infected with GC-one six one

She can move things with her mind,
Maybe she can save all mankind
But someone's looking to intrude upon,
That evil plant leader Danielle Atron

She wants to find Alex and experiment on her,
So Alex must hide hoping she can deter,
With the help of her sister and her best friend Ray,
She's hides from Vince much to Atron's dismay

Alex Mack, she's great in the sack,
You better watch your back, cause its the MACK ATTACK

Puddle of goo (goo goo goo goo goo)
Puddle of goo (goo goo goo goo)

Uggh, boots.

Outside Temp: 65 degrees Fahrenheit
Number of Ugg boot sightings before 12 noon: 9

you've got to be kidding me.

Apple's New Laptop

Apple is introducing some new designs for their MacBooks on Tuesday, and I heard these laptops are also coming with some cool new features:
- Fans with a combined heating and A/C unit
- Microwave Oven (optional)
- Tanning Bed Dashboard Widget
- Calling features. Who needs an iPhone when your laptop can make calls?
- Cable jack. TVs are outdated anyways.
- Built in iSight laser. For security purposes.
- New apple key. Press it, and a PC user dies.
- An upgraded superiority complex

Michael Cera's Next Movie

Let me start off with a disclaimer: I Love Michael Cera. I have loved him every since he started out at the awkward George Michael on "Arrested Development," and I have enjoyed every movie he has been in since then. I write this, Michael Cera, not cause I do not like you, but because I am worried about you. After watching Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist yesterday, a movie I really enjoyed, and I realized Michael Cera needs to take action. He needs to go outside the box and do something he has not done before: a drama, an action movie, a horror movie. Anything. Here are some suggestions for future movies:

The Cure
When the youngest scientist (Cera) in a group accidentally creates a neurological deadly disease, he is worried of the consequences. While looking to find a way to destroy this specimen, a group of terrorists break into the complex and steal the formula for the disease. Now, the scientists must work to find a cure before this virus is released, and Cera decides to go after the terrorists, feeling responsible for the fate of the world. When the terrorists end up being a group genetically altered super bears, Cera faces the ultimate challenge of man vs. wild.

Frostbite
Five high school kids (Michael Cera, Ellen Page, Jonah Hill, Kat Dennings, and Clark Duke) head out for a ski weekend at Cera's remote cabin. What starts out as a enjoyable weekend suddenly turns to strange. Their skis go missing. The car won't start. They begin seeing and hearing things around the cabin. What started out as a race down the mountain ends in a fight for their lives against a group of cannabalistic stay-at-home moms.

The Warning Track
Dennis (Michael Cera) had always loved baseball. He was a star on the varsity baseball team in high school, but when a brawl broke out against their rival team, Dennis was suspended for the rest of the regular season for killing a player. Now, Dennis starts working with the coaching staff to make the playoffs so he can get his chance to play again. Everything leads up to the championship game against their rival team. Is the glory of victory worth losing his life to the gang of ornery oponents? Based on a true story.

Condemned
After failing his AP US History Test, Jack Alexander (Michael Cera) wakes up the next morning to find himself in 1776. Now, he must relive US history as a social figure from that period in order to get it right this time. Jack starts out as George Washington, and becomes other famous historical figures like John Wilkes Booth, Andrew Carnegie, Hitler, Martin Luther King Jr., and George W. Bush. What starts out as Jack trying to relive history ends in him changing it entirely when he acidentially blows up the world. Oh well.

Porn
Not just regular old porn, but kinky, toys and all porn. I'm talking laser light shows, fog machines, bounce houses, roller derbies, and Burger King ball pits. But when Michael Cera is clothed he should wear a striped polo with a zip up hoodie, as well as courdoroy pants. He should also have a shy, awkward personality. Instead of traditional porn music there should be indie music chosen by Michael Cera himself.

What I'm Listening To...

Jose Gonzalez - Hand on Your Heart

What happens when an Argentinian man is born in Sweden? Beautiful, melodious music is born, that's what. Gonzalez has one of the most relaxing voices I've ever heard, and his lyrics speaks to me. While this song could have some cheesy love references, Jose makes it seem like something more. His lyrics have meaning. His guitar also makes listening to this song more than just listening, it's an experience. Whether he's speaking to the people in the world who have lost someone close, or giving advice to those blossoming new relationships, or if you just like good relaxing music, listen to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmLGMWgHIgw

10 TV Shows I'm Excited For This Season

The 60th Annual Emmy's were last night. The best in television were honored for their great work in the past year. Now, A new year is upon us.

There are a few times during the year I really get excited. One of them is March Madness. I guess that may be pretty much it. Besides now. Not only is it turning to the awesomeness of fall, but TV shows are beginning their new seasons. I always get ridiculously excited for the new seasons, as well as new shows to get into. Here are the 10 shows this season I'm looking forward to:

Heroes
Monday, September 22nd
8PM on NBC
I don't know about the rest of you, but last season of Heroes was such a tease. The strike shortened season kept the season from never really getting an exciting flow to it. However, this left the show with a lot of exciting questions to be answered. What does the future hold in store for the Heroes? What will Sylar do next? Will Villians take over this season of Heroes? Find out tonight.

How I Met Your Mother
Airs: Monday, September 22th
8:30 PM on CBS
As much as I would like to know who Ted's wife is, I'm more interested to find out what will happen with Barney and Robin. Could Barney finally end up actually dating someone? And what will Stella say to Ted's proposal? This show is always finds a way to just make you feel good, and I hope in continues into the 4th season.

The Office
Airs: Thursday, September 25th
9PM on NBC
The season ended with an accepted proposal, but not the one we were expecting. What will Pam do? How will the Dwight/Angela/Andy Love Triangle play out? How long will it be until Michael asks the new HR girl to marry him? Although The Office had a somewhat rocky last season, it finished strong and will hopefully continue into its 5th season.

Dexter
Airs: Sunday, September 28th
9 PM on Showtime
Dexter is one of my new favorite Showtime shows, along with Californication. This show's 2nd season was nothing but edge-of-your-seat suspenseful, and hopefully more of that will come in the 3rd season. How much longer can Dexter go keeping his identity a secret?

Californication
Airs: Sunday, September 28th
10:30 PM on Showtime
The sex-addicted David Duchovny returns as the sex-addicted Hank, who has finally won what he has been fighting for throughout the first season. Hank may now finally have what he wants, but will that be enough? Will he let his new book stay in the hands of the 16 year old daughter of Karen's ex boyfriend that he had sex with? Will Hank be able to stay with one woman for the rest of his life?

Chuck
Monday, September 29th
8PM NBC
No show has really found the perfect harmony between Comedy and Action like Chuck has. The quirky Chuck along with his Buy More associates each have their Nerd Herd qualities that make for a great supporting cast. The fate of Chuck, the one man superdatabase, lies in the hands of Sarah and Casey, his federal agent bodyguards. How much longer will Chuck be safe, even from the ones who are supposed to be protecting him?

30 Rock
Airs: Thursday, October 30th
9:30PM on NBC
30 Rock cleaned up at The Emmys last night, picking up awards for Best Comedy, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Writing. 30 Rock has consistenly become funnier since the show aired two seasons ago. Kenneth never ceases to make me laugh, and Tracy Jordan is comdeic gold. The writers of this show are the smartest writers out there right now.

24
Sunday, November 23rd
FOX
This show didn't even get to air last season because of the strike, so it has been a long time since Jack Bauer has killed everyone in sight. While the situations do get a little ridiculous, and more happens in those 24 hours than will happen in most years, the high intensity of 24 always finds a way to keep me entertained.

Scrubs
ABC
Scrubs is on its final season, and it goes into it with a new network. I hope the show moving to ABC does not ruin anything about it. While it has gone down in humor a little over the past season or so, the writers will find a way to make sure it goes out with its old fashion humor and lovable characters.

LOST
February
ABC
Not a lot needs to be said about the anticipation for this show. Anyone who watches LOST can never wait for the next episode. Although we have to wait til February for the 5th season, we get to see it without any breaks or reruns. Hopefully answers will start to pour out of the show, since there is only one more season after this one until the series ends.

LOST: The Soap Opera Episode

I guess LOST was putting too much drama in the form of action and questions(with some answers from time to time) so they decided they should put that drama in the form of a daytime soap. This episode, creatively titled "The Other Woman," focuses on Juliet's relationships, past and present. This episode brings us back to Juliette's early days with the Others. They introduce a new character, Harper, who is the therapist on the island and also Goodwin's wife. This is the foundation for the drama to occur in the rest of the episode. Juliette and Goodwin have a secret fling, and Juliette has her emerging from the ocean in a bathing suit scene that all of the women on LOST are required to have:

I can't wait for Rousseau's. Harper figures out what's going on with her husband and Juliette, and tells her she's not really that pissed, but Ben will be if he finds out. After a long scene of events, Goodwin is sent out to be one of the Tailies, and then Ben takes Juliette to see Goodwin's dead body. Instead of just killing Goodwin himself like the regular soaps do it, Ben creates an intricate plan to get Goodwin killed. When Juliette asks why he did this Ben tells her, "You are mine." It was pretty creepy on Ben's part, but he's a creepy guy.

Back in real time (or not real time, whatever time happens on the island) Charlotte and Daniel Faraday have peaced the beach and Jack, Juliette, and Jin and Sun take off looking for them. Juliette then hears some whispers and encounters Harper, who tells her she needs to kill Charlotte and Daniel based on Ben's orders. Is she dead or is it actually Harper? I was convinced she was dead and it was the security system/monster, but then Jack had a conversation with her. Could the security system be that good? Anyways, Jack starts asking Juliette questions about Harper and what is going on, but Juliette does not answer him. I don't think anyone will every answer Jack's questions. Jack always has so many questions, and people just kind of ignore him and he never really has that big of a problem with it. What's up with that Jack? Demand more answers, start taking names.

Apparently Charlotte and Daniel are on their way to an electrical station to release a deadly gas that will kill everyone on the island. But Kate is there to stop them, until she gets knocked upside the head by Charlotte. Jack and Juliette find Kate, when Jack proceeds to ask more questions with no answers, and Juliette disappears to the The Tempest where Charlotte and Daniel are. Juliette arrives to Daniel trying to kill everyone on the island, only to find out he is trying to keep everyone from being killed by Ben. Juliette and Charlotte get in a slightly dramatic chick fight, which is not really helping Daniel concentrate on saving everyone's lives. So selfish girls, so selfish. Daniel ends up saving everyone and they run into Jack and Kate. Juliette confesses that Ben wants her, but she wants Jack. Then they have hot, passionate sex right there in front of everyone. Actually, they kiss after everyone left. That is the one flaw in this relationshiped up episode. Juliette just became Jack's other woman, and Jack should have had he way with her.

Oh yeah, and there's those other survivors doing their own thing at the Barracks. Here Ben gives Locke some new information, which is all the guy wants anyway. In these scenes Ben reminds me of that girl Jerry dated in Seinfeld who only looked good in certain light. Ben goes from being bruised and suffering from jaundice to just a few cuts on his face.

The miracle of lighting. The surprising part of Locke and Ben's conversations is that you find out that Charles Widmore is the one who sent out the boat for the island. Charles Widmore? I knew that guy was a sketch. A war is developing between the members of the boat and Ben. What will happen? At least we finally find out who Ben's man on the ship is:

It's Leonard! Actually they don't tell you anything, but I have high hopes for next episode.

What I'm Listening To...

Cold War Kids - We Used to Vacation (listen)
While the Cold War kids have been around since 2004, they started getting big after releasing their CD, Robbers & Cowards in the fall of 2006. The Cold War Kids have a really 50s style to them, but with a catchy present day sound. We Used to Vacation is one of those songs that you can really develop an addiction to with its sharp piano. While the piano does begin the song, the Cold War Kids show you their edge by adding in some distorted guitar and a really strong bass. The Cold War Kids show you that even with their class, they can still blow away their listeners.

The 80th Oscars

Last night was kind of a big night last night in the world of movies. It was also the first big show since the end of the writers strike, and I gotta say movie world, where was the effort? With the exception of Javier Bardem and a slightly insane Daniel Day Lewis, everyone else didn't really realize the Oscars were occurring.

What I really missed from this years' Oscars were those awesome people from last year that made all those sweet shadow images:

While stupid at the time, I really appreciate the work done by those shadow artists, especially in comparison to the montages of this year. Even though it was the Oscars, it just didn't have that usual Oscar feeling. It basically felt they were just trying to get everything over with as soon as possible. I am glad for the Coen brothers though. Their movie basically wrecked the Oscars, especially in the later categories. Javier Bardem was byfar the most excited to win an Oscar, I mean look at that face:
He was the one guy who truly seemed ecstatic to win an Oscar, or maybe he was just excited he didn't have that old sexy head of hair anymore. I am sad that Michael Clayton only received one award, although I did think Tilda Swinton deserved the award. That was until I saw Tilda Swinton in some sort of cut up bed sheet made from a velvet/plastic material looking like some sort of alien. I'm not sure what to make of that.

What I was more excited for was the nomination for Best Actor. I had seen There Will Be Blood the day before the Oscars, and laughed. A lot. I could not take anything Daniel Day Lewis said seriously in that movie since he sentence he spoke sounded as if it were his last after a lifetime of hatred for the world. Which I guess wasn't too far off. Anyway I was fairly certain this movie had caused him to go somewhat insane, and my instincts were correct when he won and proceeded to kneel to accept the Oscar:
The best was Helen Mirren's confusion, when she then decided the best thing to do in this situation was attempt to knight Daniel. When i thought this was Daniel was at his peak insanity, he then blew me away by thanking the academy for "whacking me with the handsomest bludgeon in town." He also addressed his wife as Mrs. Planview and wished he could share the stage with his fictional son HW. I'm fairly certain he left the Oscars with a band of gypsies and went on to cause mischief throughout the land.

While I'm fairly sure this was only my second year watching the Oscars in its entirety, I don't plan on losing all hope for the future Oscars based on one sub par year. By next year the lingering effects of the writers strike will be over, and they should probably just give Daniel Day Lewis the hosting job, and the insanity will inevitably continue.