My Favorite Michael Scott Quotes

Top 10:

10: Michael: In my opinion the third date is traditionally the one where you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me I'll know for sure.

9: Michael: Nobody likes to be flashed. When Meredith flashed me at that Christmas party I nearly vomited.

8: Michael: So have you felt the vibe yet? We work hard, we play hard. Sometimes we play hard when we should be working hard. I guess the atmosphere that I've created here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second...and probably an entertainer third.

7: Michael: Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.

6: Michael: Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I’ve heard “women and children first”. But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop (thankfully). And women are equal in the workplace by law. So I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.

5: Michael: Jan says anything that doesn’t scare us is not worth doing. I don’t know, maybe we’re different people. I like cuddling and spooning abd she likes video-taping us during sex and then watching right afterward to improve my form.

4: Michael: It’s a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour-long shower with guys.

3: Michael: Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate. So he’s really not a part of our family. Also he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family.

2: Michael: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon ----- sue me -- and since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It’s good for me. It’s the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that…

1: Michael: Yes, it is true…I, Michael Scott am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it and I am going to do it. I need a username and…I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.


Quotes found at Dunderball.com

The Office Kind of Disappointed me Last Night

So I was pretty pumped for The Office last night. The hour long half-good episodes were a thing of the past, and I loved last weeks episode (break me off a piece of that applesauce and 'limitless paper in a paperless' world, genius). I sat down to this episode with high expectations.

Those expectations didn't really come through for me.

The episode starts off with Michael pulling a Ferris Bueler, which I found funny because Michael would rather have people think he is sleeping in his office instead of out. Another enjoyable pre-theme song scene. Then i just feel like it sort of went downhill from there.

Karen wants Stanley in Utica where she is the new Branch Manager, and Michael cannot let this happen. He decides to pull some pranks on the Utica branch after unsuccessfully trying to win over Utica's top salesman. Of course, Dwight is ready to go with Michael, and they con Jim along telling him they're on a sales call. Jim's reaction when he finds out they're going to Utica is priceless.

Meanwhile, Pam, Oscar, and Toby create a 'Finer Things Club' where they just sort of hang around and dress up. I felt this whole storyline was filled with forced humor. Andy showing up with the book before he is shot down by Pam, Kevin getting a snack from the vending machine, and Phillis using the microwave in the break room to make popcorn because the other one smelled like popcorn. Creed could have made a humorous appearance sometime during the scene, but he was non-existent during this episode. The same goes for Kelly, Angela, and Merideth.

Back to Utica. Now Jim, Michael, and Dwight are decked out in mustaches and warehouse suits. I must say the shot of the three of them wearing mustaches brought laughs. Then that was followed by Dwight peeing into a can, where he proceeds to scream out: "I think I cut my penis on the lid." I'm glad Dwight is back to being the ridiculous person that he is and not moping over Angela. They arrive at the branch, and Jim refuses to go in. This then creates a "The Injury"-esque walkie talkie conversation with Michael and Dwight and how they are stealing an industrial copier until you hear a smash.

This is when Karen enters the picture and talks to Jim for the first time since they've broken up. It's awkward of course. Karen then yells at the three and tells them Stanley is hers. Jim then is awesome and indirectly (or maybe purposely) makes Karen upset. Great point of the episode.

When everything comes to the end, Stanley was just bluffing for a raise and doesn't take the job. Does this mean he actually likes it at Scranton? Michael's whole mission was unnecessary , and the episode ends with nothing new and everything the same as it was when the episode started. Although it did get its laughs (which The Office always does), it went absolutely nowhere.

I am already anticipating next week's episode, "Survivor Man," where Michael tries to survive in the woods with nothing more than what he is wearing, while Jim works on an awesome birthday party back at the office.