The Discountinued Merit Badges of Boy Scouts

There was this kid from New York who managed to receive everyone of the 121 Merit Badges offered by the Boy Scouts of America. While that may kind of impressive, it would have been completely different if he had to get all the Merit Badges that have been discontinued. Every single one of these has a use in the world today:

Agribusiness:
If Buster Bluth took 18th century agrarian business classes, then every Boy Scout should have to have to get the Agribusiness merit badge.

Blacksmithing:
You never know when the world will suddenly be in the dark ages again and the most important job will be the blacksmith.

Bookbinding:
After baseball, bookbinding is the national pastime of America.

Botany:
I truly think that if you are not able to put together a lovely flower arrangement and know a good amount about flowers, being a Boy Scout is not for you.

Cement Work:
The Boy Scout's motto is "Be Prepared." What says being prepared like being able to put down a house's foundation on command.

Carpentry:
Once you lay a house's foundation, you should be able to put up the walls and everything.

Consumer Buying:
All people are consumers. You should know how to buy things.

Farm and Ranch Management:
What's going to happen when machines turn on the human race? Were gonna have to go back to farming. Without Boy Scouts trained in farming, America will fail.

Foundry Practice:
Again, dark ages people. Everyone needs a good founder.

Machinery:
Well maybe this should be changed to defeating machines. Since that skill will be necessary when the machines do in fact turn on the humans.

Pathfinding:
I feel like a big part of the Boy Scouts is hiking and camping. A big part of that is being able to walk on trails and such. If you cannot find a path, you're screwed. Especially when that bear comes along and kills you.

Printing/Communication:
I guess in our world today communicating is not really important or essential. Maybe I was wrong about this one being necessary.

Rabbit Raising:
No explanation needed. This one is a given.

Signaling:
Without this, you would be one of those asshole drivers who never uses their blinkers. And you would fail at hand signals while riding a bike.

Taxidermy:
You're hunting out in the words. BAM. You shoot a raccoon. What better way to celebrate than to take out whatever materials needed and taxiderming that coon on the spot.

Wood Turning:
Wikipedia describes Wood Turning as a form of woodworking that is used to create wooden objects on a lathe. That sounds important enough to me.

Top 5 Dwight Scrute Faces

5. The Epitome Dwight




4. The Bobble-Dwight




3. The Pervert




2. Darth Schrute




1. The Jim Halpert

Top 10 Albums of 2008

10. Ben Folds - Way To Normal
It may not be quite as good as his past albums, but it still has that great Ben Folds feel.
Track to listen to: Bitch Went Nuts


9. Coldplay - Viva La Vida
Yes, it's like the most popular album of the year, but I mean it does get a little repetitive.
Track to listen to: Viva La Vida (The most overplayed one of them all)


8. The Mountain Goats - Heretic Pride
The singer's voice may be a little weird, but they got a great sound.
Track to Listen to: Lovecraft in Brooklyn


7. Flight of the Conchords - Flight of the Conchords
They may be more comedy than music, but the lyrics are just so well written and Brett and Jermaine are two good looking guys.
Track to Listen to: Foux Du Fafa


6. Eef Barzelay - Lose Big
He is probably the most awkward guy to ever see in concert, but he has some great sounding music, even if its a little weird.
Track to Listen to: Could Be Worse


5. Mates of State - Re-Arrange Us
What happens when you take a husband and wife and mix in synthesizers, organs, and a glockenspiel? Great, extremely catchy music.
Track to Listen to: My Only Offer


4. Kings of Leon - Only By The Night
Not as great as Because of the Times, but it still has that great KoL feel.
Track to Listen to: Sex on Fire


3. Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs
Death Cab is always great to listen to, and with this newest album they took a bunch of different styles that are mostly hits.
Track to Listen to: No Sunlight


2. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
Vampire Weekend is the biggest new band of the year, and there is not one song on this album that I do not enjoy.
Track to Listen to: Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa


1. Jukebox the Ghost - Let Live & Let Ghosts
While this may not be the biggest new band of the year, it should be. Not only that, but if you ever have a chance to see them live, do it. It'll be the best experience you ever have.
Track to Listen to: Hold It In

The Joys of Craigslist

Not too long ago, I discovered this great site called craigslisting. Bascially, this guy just finds articles on craigslist and then e-mails the person and messes with them for a while. It's quite entertaining and I was inspired by this guy, so I tried doing some of my own scheming. Unfortunately, I do not have as much luck. So far, I have found about 6 photographers saying that are looking for work at holiday parties. I sent each one of them this message:

Hi! My name is Andrew and I saw your ad in Craigslist and I would be interested in your services. I plan on having a Holiday party with about 50 people, and we would actually really love a photographer to document the event. My Christmas Party does have a theme though, which I think makes it an even better event to take pictures for. My party is going to be religiously themed, since I feel like people don't really care about the religious aspect of Christmas anymore. Don't you agree?

Anyways, I will be dressing up as Joesph, my wife as Mary, and our newborn daughter will be playing Jesus. Yes I know she is a girl, but she will be playing a man's role for the night. Everyone else at the party will either be dressed up as angels, wisemen, or shepherds, as well as a few people dressed as animals. It should be a really great time and we were looking for someone to capture the experience. Of course, on top of money you would also get to enjoy our food and alcohol. What do you think?

Thanks,
Andrew

With no luck. I'll keep at it.

Mojo is the Coolest Thing Ever.

The thing I always used to hate about iTunes is whenever you saw people's shared libraries. Yes, you could go to them, and listen to their music, but that was it. You were always so close to being able to take that music, but then, it never could happen. Until this very moment. Well unless you've known about this program before; but if you haven't, you are in luck! Mojo is a program that allows you to download songs off the shared network, right from your friend's libraries. Now you can always have that copy of Rehab that you were always too embarrassed to download by stealing it from a friends library. It's ok, it's a catchy song. Anyways, its easy, here's a quick step by step:

- Go here, or if you have Windows, there's a beta version here
- Download Mojo
- Open it, make a user name and password so people know who you are.
- Now a little window comes up that looks like this:



- Now have a friend get mojo on your network. When they do you can click the little plus sign and add their user name as a friend. Once they happens, you have full access to all of their music.
- Now if you hit the song note button, you can see their whole library
- If you want a song, click the little down arrow next to it on their library
- Now it downloads and its on your computer
- Also, Mojo will tell you if you have a song already that is in their library, so you won't be downloading repeats. Enjoy!

Unhitched Poster

In the Spring there was this TV Show on FOX called "Unhitched." It was a decent comedy that I watched and laughed at at times, but it only managed to have six episodes. However, I thought of it today and was looking at it on IMDB, when I noticed the poster for the show:



The placement of the food in drinks in this poster is ridiculous. If you don't see it at first, keep looking. It'll happen.

Twas The Night Before Finals...

Twas the night before finals, and throughout the school,
Not a student was studying, they were way too cool
There was a sense of panic throughout the air
But everyone was really too lazy to care

The freshman were cramming info in their heads
While seniors were scoring hot chicks in their beds
And Shannon had just gotten back from the Gap,
While Tim was beginning a four hour nap

When out on the quad there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
I tripped on a shoe and went down with a smash

Just when I thought I had broken my toe,
A shout was heard from a memorable Bro
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a outdoor kegger, with plenty of beer

It was led by Rob who's a really big dick
But wait there's Karen, she's such a hot chick
More rapid than eagles the students they came,
And Rob stood there as he called them by name

Yo Barnes, yo Homes, yo Andrews and Simpson
What up Gill, and Bird, and Roberts and Gibson!
To the kids at Dav A, to the ones at White Hall,
Drink, drink, drink up you all!

Their livers will probably cause them to die,
They drink until the keg runs dry
There on the quad was quite a large crew,
The liquor was gone, now what should they do?

And then, there was Rob, now on the roof
Dancing around, he looked like a goof
I brought in my head and was turning around,
When suddenly I heard a loud sound

Rob fell through the ceiling, right onto my foot,
His body was covered with debris and soot
He looked in pain with a hand on his back,
Quickly he stood, and was cured with a crack

His eyes were glazed over, they looked very wary,
He reeked of booze, and boy was he hairy
He cracked opened a beer, and drank like a pro,
Rob truly was the ultimate bro

He held a Camel in between his teeth,
And packed some tobacco in hip lip underneath
Boy did he have the biggest beer belly,
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly

He looked in the mirror an admired himself,
There was nothing about him that resembled an elf
He then noticed me and calmly he said,
"If you say I was here, you're gonna be dead"

He finished he sentence and proceeded to smirk,
I always knew this guy was a jerk
He turned away and with a tap from his toes
Rob was off and running, there he goes

He met up with his team, and gave them a whistle,
And just like that, they sped away like a missile
But I heard him exclaim, as he ran out of sight,
"I'm the greatest of all, Let's go get in a fight!"

How Yesman Came To Be...

Producer: Ok Jim, so let's come up with an idea for your next project.

Jim Carrey: Alright, well what do you have for me?

P: Well there was some talk of a third movie in the Almighty series. Steve Carrell doesn't want it. What do you think?

J: I don't think so. This isn't the Fast and the Furious and i'm not Vin Diesel.

P: I totally get that. We could always do another Ace Ventura. How bout you have a kid and you're training him to talk to animals?

J: Not to be a dick or anything, but that sounds really awful.

P: Alright, another Eternal Sunshine. You get together with Clementine, but you both wake up one morning and remember everything that has happened.

J: I think we should steer clear of sequels. They don't really do it for me.

P: Come on Jim. You're turning down every idea I give you. What do I need to do to get a yes out of you?

J: How about something that's not a seq...

P: I GOT IT! You're a guy that is constantly turning down everything until you agree to say yes to everything. Comedy ensues.

J: So it's sort of along the lines of Liar Liar? This isn't a sequel is it?

P: No. Completely original idea. You'd just be a guy with a lousy life that completely changes when you agree to say yes to everything.

J: This sounds quite a bit like Liar Liar.

P: Trust me Jim. It'll be completely different.

J: How much money will I get for it?

P: Um, well we can't pay you anything now, but you'll get a certain amount based on how much money the movie brings in.

J: You've got to be kidding me.

P: Jim it'll be a big hit. People love you.

J: Whatever. I'll do it. I have nothing else to do.

What I'm Listening To...

Explosions in the Sky - An Ugly Fact of Life (listen)

Since it is finals time, Explosions in the Sky becomes my go to band. Hailing from Texas, Explosions in the Sky is a band which consists of three guitarists and a drummer, and it is completely instrumental. For those of you who think its hard to study or write a paper and be productive while listening to music, Explosions in the Sky is for you. The are by far the most soothing band to listen to while working on a paper. Check them out, they may even help you on your finals.

Songbird 1.0 Out

The other day I wrote about Songbird and its great features. While I wrote this post when the program was still in its beta phase, Songbird 1.0 came out yesterday. It has all the same great features I described with a few more great add-ons. Check it out at http://getsongbird.com/

My Favorite Michael Scott Quotes

Top 10:

10: Michael: In my opinion the third date is traditionally the one where you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me I'll know for sure.

9: Michael: Nobody likes to be flashed. When Meredith flashed me at that Christmas party I nearly vomited.

8: Michael: So have you felt the vibe yet? We work hard, we play hard. Sometimes we play hard when we should be working hard. I guess the atmosphere that I've created here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second...and probably an entertainer third.

7: Michael: Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.

6: Michael: Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I’ve heard “women and children first”. But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop (thankfully). And women are equal in the workplace by law. So I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.

5: Michael: Jan says anything that doesn’t scare us is not worth doing. I don’t know, maybe we’re different people. I like cuddling and spooning abd she likes video-taping us during sex and then watching right afterward to improve my form.

4: Michael: It’s a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour-long shower with guys.

3: Michael: Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate. So he’s really not a part of our family. Also he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family.

2: Michael: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon ----- sue me -- and since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It’s good for me. It’s the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that…

1: Michael: Yes, it is true…I, Michael Scott am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it and I am going to do it. I need a username and…I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.


Quotes found at Dunderball.com