10: Michael: In my opinion the third date is traditionally the one where you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me I'll know for sure.
9: Michael: Nobody likes to be flashed. When Meredith flashed me at that Christmas party I nearly vomited.
8: Michael: So have you felt the vibe yet? We work hard, we play hard. Sometimes we play hard when we should be working hard. I guess the atmosphere that I've created here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second...and probably an entertainer third.
7: Michael: Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.
6: Michael: Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I’ve heard “women and children first”. But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop (thankfully). And women are equal in the workplace by law. So I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.
5: Michael: Jan says anything that doesn’t scare us is not worth doing. I don’t know, maybe we’re different people. I like cuddling and spooning abd she likes video-taping us during sex and then watching right afterward to improve my form.
4: Michael: It’s a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour-long shower with guys.
3: Michael: Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate. So he’s really not a part of our family. Also he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family.
2: Michael: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon ----- sue me -- and since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It’s good for me. It’s the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that…
1: Michael: Yes, it is true…I, Michael Scott am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it and I am going to do it. I need a username and…I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
Quotes found at Dunderball.com
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